Sexual assault and gender presentation
Am I trans just to feel safer?
Girl was sexually assaulted and doesn't feel safe as a girl and is masculine presenting because it feels safer. Top comment says accurately that being a trans man is NOT safer.
I have written some about sexual assault and gender presentation elsewhere.
Women who are sexually assaulted routinely dress less attractively to try to feel safer and present less femininely. It's common for them to cut their hair shorter, gain weight and dress differently.
This isn't actually a failsafe means to not be harassed and assaulted. Some people find plump women attractive, something I've mostly written about from the other side of the equation of rebutting expectations that I have terrible self esteem because I'm not reed thin.
Women HOPING to be invisible to men because they were hurt and are scared are sometimes incredibly unhappy discovering some men like a BBW or some men love short hair, etc.
It's better to figure out how to navigate social stuff safely which is MOSTLY about things other than appearance. For example:
I was raped by my brother at age twelve. At age fourteen, I had the longest hair of my life, halfway down my back.
I had my first boyfriend and my family forbade me from seeing him again and my BROTHER had say in that family decision and I did not which messed my head up vastly worse than being molested for about two or two and half years by him.
As a consolation prize, I finally got to take gymnastics and cut my hair short because I got tired of stepping on my hair. My brother didn't speak to me for three days.
Right, as if I want his approval. I've never had hair past shoulder length again.
As part of my recovery, I read books and articles about prostitution. The best way to cut your income as a prostitute is to cut your hair too short. Long fingernails and high heels are also strong signals that you're a working girl.
So I'm not going to say appearances don't matter and while homeless I learned to come across more androgynously and I do to this day sometimes get called "sir." Looking ambiguous is safer for a girl and I think it's kind of fun, an innocent social hack without malice.
I'm dirt poor and tall for a woman. I keep my hair short and wear no makeup for HEALTH reasons and have lived in men's T-shirts and sweatpants with no bra for a lot of years because it's cheap and fits and men's T-shirts are thicker material and covers up my lack of a bra etc.
I'm NOT really TRYING to look androgynous but that is the result.
Most women's clothing is very Sluts R Us vibe. It is challenging to dress femme and not look like a HO.
My mother was very conservative and sewed a lot of my clothes and had expectations like the British royals, such as no cleavage, no bra straps showing, etc.
I wear men's clothes in part because women's clothes typically doesn't meet my mother's expectations for not dressing like a skank ass ho.
I've spent more than thirteen years fantasizing about starting my own clothing line to dress femme and NOT dress like a trashy ho.
So it's NOT unreasonable to want to be a bit more covered up and conservative and androgynous to try to be safer. That WILL help but that's not by itself going to keep you safe in a world where rape culture is the norm.
I doubt the OP is trans. I believe being trans is a sex hormone syndrome, AKA a MEDICAL condition. Unfortunately, the current state of the art is figuring out if you FEEL you are a different gender than your AGAB.
Filed under MEDICAL for helping confused people sort out differential diagnosis.