It's Probably a Fool's Errand
Full disclosure: I'm currently homeless and on track to die on the street. I was unjustly banned from Metafilter, a forum full of classist assholes who like to virtue signal and pretend they are an enclave of morally superior people making the world a better place.
I appear to be the only woman to have ever made the leaderboard of Hacker News, but I've stopped participating and my relationship to HN is unlikely to ever be repaired.
I'm contemplating abandoning Reddit.
I'm a horrific failure financially and socially and decades of trying to sort that has apparently made zero forward progress.
But I have an incurable genetic disorder and I'm mostly well when that's not supposed to be possible.
I believe you resolve social friction by both refusing to compromise on who you are AND doing your best to not unnecessarily step on toes or offend people.
I'm 60 years old and I have a condition with a life expectancy of 36. I'm not sure that's an accomplishment worth celebrating given my status as a social outcast, but I can tell you I'm nonetheless in better shape financially than most people with CF.
This is a HEALTH site. I think being trans is a MEDICAL condition that negatively impacts your HEALTH in part because it damages your so-called immune system.
I'm extremely sorry your medical condition comes with mountains and mountains of social BULLSHIT. Rest assured, mine does too.
Please kindly leave me out of your shit. My only interest is in helping people with sex hormone syndromes get the hormones they need and frankly I think the trans community is making a mistake to have a cow about pronouns.
But I don't really want to tell you how to handle your social issues.
I just want to say that I'm doing a nice thing for the trans community and you can be polite, respectful and grateful to me or get the hell off my lawn.
Full stop.
I don't want to hear how you think I should tackle x, y or z or whatever. You got an issue with me ONLY wanting to address this ONE thing? Go elsewhere for your solutions and leave me alone.
I think YOU doing this kind of BULLSHIT to people is part of WHY it's so much drama. And ME trying like hell to NOT be like that is why I appear to be the ONLY woman on the leaderboard of Hacker News AND still alive 25 years after I SHOULD have died and nearly did.
Not that I'm actually happy, mind you. I'm absolutely not.
But I'm probably closer to happy than you are. And I believe this approach is the ONLY one that ACTUALLY has any hope of fixing the social piece and getting a group of social outcasts eventually accepted -- IF they actually WANT that and don't just want a BS excuse to go postal.